304 pages : 21 cm Welcome to Europe as you've never known it before, seen through the peculiarities of its languages and dialects. Combining linguistics and cultural history, Gaston Dorren takes us on an intriguing tour of the continent, from Proto-Indo-European (the common ancestor of most European languages) to the rise and rise of English, via the complexities of Welsh plurals and Czech pronunciation. Along the way we learn why Esperanto will never catch on, how the language of William the Conqueror survives in the Channel Islands and why Finnish is the easiest European language. Surprising, witty and full of extraordinary facts, this book will change the way you think about the languages around you.-- Includes bibliographical references and index pt. ONE Next of tongue -- Languages and their families -- 1. The life of PIE Lithuanian -- 2. The separated siblings Finno-Ugric Languages -- 3. Pieces of a broken pitcher Romansh -- 4. Mummy dearest French -- 5. Know your Slovek from your Slovane Slavic languages -- 6. The linguistic orphanage Balkan languages -- 7. The tenth branch Ossetian -- pt. TWO Past perfect discontinuous -- Languages and their history -- 8. The peaceful expansionist? German -- 9. Portugal's mother's tongue Galician -- 10. A language in DK Danish -- 11. The spoils of defeat Channel Island Norman -- 12. Languages of exile Karaim, Ladino and Yiddish -- 13. Frozen in time Icelandic -- pt. THREE War and peace -- Languages and politics -- 14. The democratic language Norwegian -- 15. Two addresses to the people of Belarus Belarus(s)ian -- 16. Kleinsteinish and its neighbours Luxembourgish -- 17. Longing for languagehood Scots and Frisian -- 18. Much a-du about you, and him Swedish -- 19. Four countries -- and more than a club Catalan -- 20. Four languages and zero goodwill Serbo-Croatian -- pt. FOUR Werds, wirds, wurds ... -- Written and spoken -- 21. `Hacek!' -- `Bless you' Czech -- 22. Szczesny, Pszkit and Korzeniowski Polish -- 23. Broad and slender tweets Scots Gaelic -- 24. Learning your A to R Russian -- 25. Pin the name on the language Estonian -- 26. The Iberian machine gun Spanish -- 27. Mountains of dialects Slovene -- 28. Hide and speak? Shelta and Anglo-Romani -- pt. FIVE Nuts and bolts -- Languages and their vocabulary -- 29. Export/import Greek -- 30. Arrival in Porto Portuguese -- 31. Meet the Snorbs Sorbian -- 32. From our Vasingtona correspondent Latvian -- 33. Small, sweet, slim, sturdy, sexy, stupid little women talian -- 34. A snowstorm in a teacup Sami -- 35. Deciphering the language of numbers Breton -- pt. SIX Talking by the book -- Languages and their grammar -- 36. Gender-bending Dutch -- 37. A case history Romani -- 38. A much-needed merger Bulgarian-Slovak -- 39. Nghwm starts with a C Welsh -- 40. Strictly ergative Basque -- 41. Note to self Ukrainian -- pt. SEVEN Intensive care -- Languages on the brink and beyond -- 42. Networking in Monaco Monegasque -- 43. A narrow escape Irish -- 44. No laughing matter Gagauz -- 45. The death of a language Dalmatian -- 46. The church of Kernow Cornish -- 47. Back from the brink Manx -- pt. EIGHT Movers and shakers -- Linguists who left their mark -- 48. Ludovit Stur, the hero linguist Slovak -- 49. The father of Albanology Albanian -- 50. An unexpected standard Germanic languages -- 51. The no-hoper Esperanto -- 52. The national hero who wasn't Macedonian -- 53. A godless alphabet Turkish -- pt. NINE Warts and all -- Linguistic portrait studies -- 54. Spell as you speak Finnish -- 55. Romans north of Hadrian's Wall Faroese -- 56. A meaningful silence Sign languages -- 57. Armenian -- 58. Plain lonely Hungarian -- 59. An Afro-Asiatic in Europe Maltese -- 60. The global headache English