323 pages 21 cm The author suggests concepts, attitudes and a language of acceptance and compassion to improve daily situations and psychological problems faced by teachers. He applies his ideas to problems of discipline, criticism, anger, motivation, homework, praise, cooperation, and the conflicting relationships of students, teachers, administrators and parents. (Publisher.) Includes bibliographical references (page 318) Teachers talk about themselves : A theme of despair ; until the system changes -- At their best : Theory and practice ; A note of comfort ; "everything is going wrong" ; Help with algebra ; "I'm always gypped." ; Minimal intervention ; A reassuring tune ; Respect for art ; Stage fright ; "Mahatma Gandhi." ; A helpful dialogue ; Consolation without explanation ; First aid ; A gentle note ; A minor tantrum ; Benign correction ; Focusing on feelings ; Conferring dignity ; A modest aim -- At their worst : "Are you naturally slow?" ; Esthetics with a sledgehammer ; Long division ; Name-calling ; Invasion of privacy ; A biting inquiry ; Not a laughing matter ; What's in a name? ; A poisoned pen ; "Don't you know anything?" ; "Listen, Van Gogh." ; "A teacher shouldn't talk like that." War about peace ; A lost lesson in fair play ; A torn coat ; A private pogrom ; A mother's testimony ; Is there hope? -- Congruent communication : Sane messages ; The cardinal principle ; Expressing anger ; Inviting cooperation ; Acceptance and acknowledgement ; Labeling is disabling ; Correction is direction ; Teachers' questions ; Children's comments ; No sarcasm ; No hurried help ; Brevity ; Impact on children ; Congruent communication -- The perils of praise : Evaluation or appreciation? ; The process of praise ; Implications of evaluations ; Adjectives and persons ; Praise and misbehavior ; Praise and status ; Praise and motivation ; Creative praise: "captivating plot" ; "exotic setting" ; "candidate for P.E.N." ; "fit for The New York Times" ; "Saga of a people" ; Catching the mood" ; "Talent for topiary" ; A building actor ; "Carnegie hall" ; Literary language -- Discipline : Alternatives to punishment ; Self-discipline ; Emphasis on prevention ; Note passing ; "Who put the peels on my desk?" ; A four-letter word ; The power of poetry ; After the fall ; Laconic language ; Long words ; Avoiding trivia ; "To be sorry is to behave differently." ; A verbal attack ; Angry moments ; "I can see how angry you are." ; Exercises in discipline ; Fighting pollution ; Encouraging cooperation ; A letter from the teacher ; To have a soul ; "Put it in writing." ; Dealing with complaints ; A face-saving exit ; "Inside voices." ; Improve or transfer ; The class as a group: "withitness"; overlapping"; "movement management"; group focus; a personal note ; To side with the hidden asset --When child and teacher clash: The parent's role : A blueprint for help ; An angry letter ; It takes a mother and a father ; Redirecting anger ; A dose of trust ; Sympathetic acknowledgement ; "Save it for home." ; Restoring self-esteem. "I wish he didn't talk like that." ; Becoming mature ; The rejected project ; A second chance ; A poor report card ; Scientific curiosity ; A focused interview ; To change an attitude ; To mirror a wish ; A letter to a principal ; Two letters to a teacher ; "I hate her! I hate her! I hate her!" ; Solution-oriented ; Lessons that linger -- Homework : An effective approach ; Respect for autonomy ; An appeal to pride ; "Homework is between you and your teacher." ; By candlelight ; "I hate school." ; Lost assignments ; Father's turn ; Emotional support ; Anger and English ; The power of acknowledgment ; Poor grades ; "A challenging assignment." ; New words ; A note of truth ; Mother learns ; A mood of mutuality ; The right help ; Aid: a child's view ; "A personal responsibility." -- Tales of motivations : How to underachieve ; Motivating mottos ; To reduce fear ; Respect for process ; "Not a genius." ; "Try it, it's easy." ; Abusive algebra ; Need for autonomy ; Reading aloud ; An artist encouraged ; To motivate reading ; To motivate writing ; To overcome a fear ; Notes of appreciation ; Motivation by identification ; Process and ethos ; A personal credo -- Helpful procedures and practices : To touch life in the classroom ; Who asks the questions? ; The listening game ; To suspend judgement ; Letters of consequence ; Resource directory ; Underachievers as tutors ; Paired learning ; Student involvement programs ; Parents in school ; Teacher's aides ; Practical innovations -- Adult encounters : In conference: optimal conditions; impertinent assumptions ; advice ; a helpful dialogue; to assuage anger ; notes of hope; to close a conference ; Troubles with administrators: professional conduct; "expository notes", ; no place for rebukes; destructive help; gracious instructions ; "I cannot deal with sarcasm" ; coping with authority; coping with unsolicited advice ; "13 rules for administrators who wish to subvert teaching." ; Spontaneity, not impulsivity -- Students recall their teachers : "How is the vacuum of your mind?" ; The value of zero echoes of events ; The Nazi ; Drama and life ; "Time to know us." ; Concise contempt ; The core truth ; Overconcern ; Trust ; Lessons in filibuster ; Lessons in indifference ; "Hurry slowly." ; "Too good for the common people." A sense of mystery ; Harvest of hate ; Programmed robot ; A magic touch ; Magnetic fields ; No exit ; Golden tongue ; An autobiography ; Reverence for life ; Verbal parsimony ; At home in the world ; A poem to a teacher