xiii, 476 pages : 23 cm "The sequel and companion volume to Competent to counsel." Includes bibliographical references Part One: The Persons -- I. The Persons Involved in Counseling Always More than Two -- At Least Three -- II. The Holy Spirit Is the Principal Person -- His Work Is Holiness -- All Christians Benefit from His Counsel -- III. The Human Counselor -- Who Should Counsel? -- Counseling Is Ministerial -- Qualifications for Counseling -- Authority in Counseling -- Counselors Must Be Directive -- The Personality of the Counselor -- IV. The Counselee -- You Already Know a Lot -- Sources of Knowledge -- No Surprises Necessary -- Solutions for Every Problem -- What the Counselor Needs to Know -- How to Prior Knowledge Helps -- Counselees Can Change -- Part Two: The Presuppositions and Principles -- V. Presuppositions and Principles Basic to Counseling -- A Limited Number of Presuppositions and Principles -- VI. Hope -- Hope of Change -- Everyone Needs Hope -- Specific Problems Requiring Hope -- How to Give Hope -- VII. Prayer: The Base for Christian Counseling -- VIII. The Reconciliation/Discipline Dynamic -- The Three Steps -- The Purpose and Benefits of Discipline -- Where to Begin? -- Marriage, Divorce, and the Reconciliation/Discipline Dynamic -- IX. Reconciliation -- A New Relationship -- Forgive and Forget? -- Forgiveness First Is Granted, Not Felt -- X. Presuppositions and Methodology -- Expert Knowledge -- Freudianism -- Behaviorism -- Common Knowledge -- Rogerianism -- O. Hobart Mowrer -- Divine Knowledge -- A Judging Activity -- A Convicting Activity -- A Changing Activity -- A Structuring Activity -- XI. Technique -- Part Three: The Practice and Process XII. The Language of Counseling -- Language Is Important -- Confronting Counselees About Their Language -- Deadly Euphemisms -- XIII. The Language of Emotion and Action -- Feeling -- Attitude -- Behavior -- XIV. Sin Is the Problem -- Counseling Is Warfare -- Opting for the Desire-Oriented and Motivated Life -- Feeling-Oriented Counseling -- Decision Making -- Common Themes Sin -- Themes Expressed in Individual Styles -- Satan and His Associates -- Feeling and Doing -- Case by Spencer -- Are Feelings Important? -- Responsibility and Sin -- Temporal Insanity -- The Influence of Childhood Training -- XV. Love in Counseling -- Love Is the Goal -- Must One First Love Himself? -- What of One's Self-Concept? -- The Counselor's Approach -- What Is Love, After All? -- XVI. Support, Sympathy, and Empathy -- Modern Ideas -- Not a Biblical Concept -- Support Is Harmful -- What of Sympathy and Empathy? -- XVII. The Motivation for Change -- Be What You Are -- Implications for Counseling -- Reward/Punishment -- Other Means of Motivation -- Choosing the Motivational Method -- XVIII. Effecting Biblical Change -- Change: The Goal -- Change Is Hard -- Changing the Past -- Changing Present Patterns form the Past -- Changing Life Patterns -- Failure to Effect Changes -- That Stick -- Dehabituation -- and Rehabituation -- Breaking and Establishing Habits -- XIX. Elements of Dehabituation -- and Rehabituation -- Becoming Aware of Patterns -- Discovering the Biblical Alternative -- Structuring for Change -- Breaking Links in the Chain of Sin -- Resistance -- Restraint -- Getting Help from Another -- Stressing the Whole Relationship to Christ -- To Avoid Gimmicks -- To Handle Life-Dominating Problems -- Practicing the New Pattern -- Cases of Change -- The Case of Bill and the Traffic Light -- The Case of Benjamin and the Toll Booth -- Summary -- XX. Getting Started -- Advertise -- How to Stimulate Counseling -- Counseling Center or Study? -- What About Counseling Intimate Friends? -- The First Session -- XXI. Goals and Terminal Dates -- Early Morning Fog -- Setting Goals and Objectives -- Checking Up on Failure -- General Goals and Procedures for the Weekly Counseling Session -- Transitional Matters -- The Discovery and Discussion of New Data -- Flexibility -- Adaptation to Counselees -- XXII. The Commitment of the Counselee -- Is Talk Therapeutic? -- XXIII. Is There a Problem? -- Counsel or Counseling? XXIV. Two Basic Approaches -- The Intensive Approach -- The Extensive Approach -- XXV. Ways of Gathering Data -- A Vital Activity -- Halo Data -- Core Data -- Get the Facts -- Note Taking -- Use of Notes -- Responsibility and Data Gathering -- Gathering Legitimate Data -- XXVI. Asking Questions -- What to Do About Agenda Problems -- Why People Come -- Discovering Problem Patterns -- Scheduling -- Probing -- The Kinds of Questions to Ask -- Let Questions Grow Out of the Data Received -- Ask Questions of Yourself -- How to Handle Rambling Replies -- How to Handle False Data -- XXVII. Helping Through Homework -- Offering Initial Help Through Homework -- The Professional Counselee -- XXVIII. An Analysis of Homework -- Small Assignments/Large Changes -- Multiple vs. Single-Stranded Problems -- Homework: Sets a Pattern for Expectation of Change -- Clarifies Expectations -- Enables Counselors to Do More Counseling More Rapidly -- Keeps Counselees from Becoming Dependent Upon the Counselor -- Enables One to Gauge Progress or Lack of It -- Allows Counselors to Deal with Problems Under Controlled Current Conditions -- Homework Helps the Counselor -- Failure to Do Assignments -- Recouping -- Samples of Actual Homework Assignments -- XXIX. Ways of Using Homework -- Using the Conference Table -- A Sample List -- Variations on the Theme -- Problem Solving Through Modeling -- Modeling as Homework -- Rebuilding Trust -- A Fresh Start -- Scheduling -- Flexibility -- Summary -- XXX. Gifts that Differ -- Gifts and Fruit of the Spirit -- Biblical Principles -- Counseling Implications -- Summary -- XXXI. How to Handle Anger -- Anger Not Necessarily Sinful -- Anger May Become Sinful -- Ventilation -- Internalization -- How to Handle Anger Righteously -- Help Counselees to Redirect Anger XXXII. Dealing with Envy, Brooding, Fretting, and Self-Pity -- Envy -- Brooding and Self-Pity -- How to Change the Situation -- Discovering the Presence of the Problem -- XXXIII. Helping Depressed Persons -- What Is Behind Depression? -- Avoiding Depression -- How the Counselor May Help -- What About the So-Called Manic-Depressive -- Offering Help -- How Not to Handle Depressed Persons -- XXXIV. Helping the Schizophrenic -- What Is Schizophrenia? -- Mystics: Visionaries or Sinners? -- Sleep Loss -- Catatonic Schizophrenia -- XXXV. Resolving Sexual Difficulties -- In Marriage -- Biblical Principles of Sex -- General Counseling Procedures -- Guilt Over Sins -- Sexual Ignorance -- Helping Young People to Handle Masturbation -- Masturbation Is Sin -- Masturbation Can Be Overcome -- How to Counsel Persons Involved in the Sin of Homosexuality -- Treat It As Sin -- What to Do to Help -- Total Structuring -- XXXVI. Helping Those Who Fear -- Love and Fear -- Fear and Punishment -- Eliminating Fear by Love -- Fear of Consequences -- Phobias -- Tension and Fear (Stage Fright) -- Tension: A Matter of Degree -- Distinguishing Objects of Fear -- XXXVII. Counseling Those Who Fear That They Have Committed the Unpardonable Sin -- What Is This Sin? -- What Can Be Done -- XXXVIII. Conclusion